London – Pesach (Passover) 2006 / 5766

I notice my calendar, in all other ways blameless, does not have Pesach marked. Serious omission!

Tis’ the season of neuroseth
Here we are almost, at the season of Neuroseth (or charoseth, whichever way you wish to pronounce it). Oh, come on Moshe, we need a season for it? Anyway, somehow the Pesach preparations have got themselves mixed up with a lot of other activity, not for the first time.

The Israel trip
For example, my beloved daughter being packed off to Israel for a few days to arrive home some time after 10pm the day before Pesach, at some two-bit airport a million miles from NW London (first night’s going to be a yawn, I think to myself).

Is this good or bad, the teenage daughter disappearing for a few days prior to Pesach?

Plus of course the ongoing maintenance to the home. Builders always leave the last bit undone, they can’t all be awaiting the building of the third Temple, surely?

It’s always a bit of a shock to see the extent our host nation has to go to in order to protect our mortal souls. Two policemen/women with some very serious-looking rifles, I mean. What is it about us that attracts such – um – antagonism, I think to myself. I live in a town full of Jews, and they’re all lovely, peaceful intelligent people. Wonderful people, people who’d really go out of their way to help. OK, I haven’t asked yet, but it’s nice to know that when I do …

Golders Green gears up for Pesach
Saturday night before Pesach, Shabbat is out, it’s a quarter to ten on an on-off rainy night, and we’re standing outside a kosher shop in Golders Green waiting for it to open. As the night wears on the crowds get bigger, cheerful people, a witty comment always at the ready. Yes, it’s us.

The choice gets better every year. Now you can get about 15 types of cheese, Wizzotsky was selling green tea for goodness’ sake (ok, it was over £14 for the box so I gave it a miss).

A little secret – I have my own minchag (custom) for Pesach. Whenever we do the pre-Pesach shopping I make a point of never complaining. I mean, I can moan with the best of the them, I’ll moan for England if you like, even. But, hey, we all know it costs a fortune, maybe even God Forbid some evil shomer is fitting up non-Pesach goods with Pesach labels somewhere, we all know we’re crazy when Pesach comes around, but why complain about it? It’s our choice, and even if it isn’t, it’s definitely our problem.

We love it really.

But this year I had my own moment of smugness. The dearly beloved did her best to discourage me checking every item on the Torah scroll known as the checkout bill, but I thought I’d have a little look, when – blow me down if I didn’t see a box of matzo costing – wait for it – twenty-three pounds – had found its way into one of our two shopping trolleys. Needless to say we swapped it for one costing only £9 but my moment of smugness was complete. Many points to me.

The Rav did his usual brilliance at shul this week. “People prepare for Pesach in different ways”, he said. “Some clean their houses, some buy a lottery ticket … “

After the shopping, of course comes the eating and drinking, conveniently provided by a small kosher fast food restaurant in GG Road. It was wonderful to see someone else dealing with the teenagers for once in the restaurant. The raised excitable voices and rapid movements of the Skinny Ones I found endearing now I had more understanding of it – well about 3% more than I started with, anyway.

Overhead in GG Road:

''I've got the Hagoddas – it’s very painful ". Boom boom!

Dearly Beloved gets down from the ladder eight times as I call on my mobile about some small shopping detail I’m worried about.

I now realize the quantity of Kiddush wine I’ve bought for the Seders is in fact enough to sozzle a small army.

Will the spirits get opened this year, for the first time? I think so, everyone loves Sabra.

Still time to sell the chametz by fax, if you’re quick.

And yet again Golders Green Road performs the miracle of parking where there are absolutely no spaces, well not many, anyway.
People standing talking on their phones, people walking down the street talking on their phones , people in shops talking on their phones , people driving down Golders Green Road talking on their phones. We’re not that different, after all.